Accidental Writer

2009-05-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

Over otak2 and heaps of teh o ais limau yesterday, the discussion centered around "re-evaluating friendships".

So yeah, the idea got tossed around and debated ever so heatedly. The initial suggestion was to sit down and thrash out the following;

1. Have you benefited at all from being my friend?

2. Have I ever been a bad friend?

3. What can I do to add more value to our friendship?

4. Is there anything you want to change about me?

5. Is there anything you think I should continue or stop doing?

5. Where do you see our friendship five years from now?

Are we willing to openly discuss these questions with friends closest to us?

2009-04-19T17:11:00.000-07:00

Attended two classes at the gym yesterday which left me fatigued, and aching all over, But it's a good ache, one that tell you the workout was well worth it

So there I was sitting by the locker, minding my own business, checking smses on my phone when I had the urge to turn my head left. And I came face-to-face with a nice piece of thong-clad ass. Just inches from my face. I looked the other way, hiding my embarassment. The other way, turns out to be full length mirors which gave me a full view the ass, and the body that comes with it. And by then, the top was already off, displaying cupA assets. So I chose to stare at my feet for a while.

This is probably something I wouldn't be able to do - undressing completely in front of strangers! And I do admire those who can, albeit a not-so-great figure coupled with granny undies (*chuckles). I guess it's called body confidence and if you have it, flaunt it.

Wonder if I dare bare it all at a remote nude beach outside of the country.

Raging Hormones

2009-04-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

Is there a magic pill I could take to stop the PMS-inducing hormones?Or can I at least transfer the syndromes to someone else?

I'm experiencing bouts of depression which leads to reduced productivity at work. Can't seem to focus or put my head together. I feel bored and restless, and running doesn't help. Nor does sleeping. Heck, even my appetite has somewhat deteriorated (although the kilos remain still). I am in no mood for social gatherings nor do I want to be alone.

I am in need of a holiday,but 10th May is still a long way to go. Hopeful that this dark episode will go away.

On another note, I'm viewing a potential property for purchase tomorrow. Quite desperate to get my own place and 2009 seems like a good year to accomplish this. Can't wait to start decorating, infuse my personal touch and start gardening. I hope it would be a good buy!

'Soaps 'n Such' OR 'Soapy Suds'

2009-03-25T01:32:00.000-07:00

So humour me, which one would be a better name for my future soap-making and retailing business? 'Soaps and Such' OR 'Soapy Suds'. Some friends think they sounds obscene, especially if it reads "xx's Soaps 'n Such"..

Soaps - I think fancy soaps are marketable, I for one find it hard to resist the temptation of buying everytime I come across them . Especially those roughly cut home-made ones, using natural and organically-grown ingredients. Whenever I frequent flea markets, would be sure to be on the lookout for these specialty soaps and make my puchases. They're good as gifts, for display and eventually, when they start to lose colour and scent, I would put them to good use.

Definitely keen on starting this business. For now, shall enroll in a soap-making class!

Much needed break

2009-03-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

Another one, in view of current developments and a seemingly quiet time in the office.

I've made the conscious decision to follow my dreams of travelling the world. And courtesy of mileage points incurred from work travels, I am on my way! London, Barcelona, Venice, Brussels and Paris, here I come. I am waiting with much anticipation, counting the days to May. Dragging along an old friend from school (was my class mate for 12 years!), we will endeavour to see, eat and do as much in our journey of self-discovery and experiencing all things new.

Initially was determined on a solo trip but due to a lukewarm support from the mister, I decided against it. Which turns out to be a good thing as I am now presented with the opportunity to share this with a close friend, before we 'cross-over'..

In search of a motivation boost

2009-03-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

2 posts within a span of 10 minutes is not bad, I suppose

Work seems like a chore these days, despite current project dwindling down and the prospect of a new role. Turns out staying in the organisation is not so lucrative of an option, at least comparatively with others in a similar industry. Recent discovery on earnings of the 'high-flyers' also does not seem to impress me, to say the least. I know I can do more, outside of the climb-the-corporate-ladder world. Even if the money ain't great, the satisfaction would be pulsating to the core. Right now, all I need is a good push, in all the right places.

Better get started on that proposal!

If I could turn back time...

2009-03-23T17:59:00.001-07:00

...I would have used more common sense
...I would have acted instinctively
...I would have not loved blindly
...I would have resisted temptations
...I would not succumb to stupidity

But I can't.

Needs vs Wants

2009-03-05T19:04:00.000-08:00

(This post is triggered by my conversation with Mr. Indian-wannabe and Mr. I-only-wear-black last night over wine and fries in an 'uncle's' pub)

I remember growing up with my basic needs fulfilled. Can't say the same about my wants though. My parents were married at the tender age of 19, so they did not have much and was struggling to make ends meet.
I had all the basics needs for school, enough food, clothes on my back and some toys to play with. School holidays would either be spent with my siblings climbing trees, 'building' makeshift 'house' using twigs cut off from tapioca plants and coconut leaves as roof or spending time at my maternal grandparents' place with the cousins. There were no holiday trips other than the occassional 6-hour drive to visit my paternal grandparents. But I was happy and spent most time reading (borrowed books either from friends or the school library as books were a luxury then) and day dreaming. I dreamt of going to the UK to study and securing a job overseas. I dreamt of travelling the world and experiencing new things. It became a strong yearning and I set my heart to make it happen.

My first trip outside of the country was to Singapore. Boy, I was so 'high' at the thought of being abroad. And so I took in the splendour of the city as much as I could in three days. That marks the beginning of my travel account. My current job took me to many cities - Houston, Los Angeles (a brief 3-hour transit spent at the airport though but hey, I was in LAX and could have possibly ran into Paris Hilton), Melbourne, London, The Hague, Amsterdam, Cape Town, Dubai, Doha and Manila all in a span of 1.5 years. And not forgetting those trips around cities in Asia courtesy of budget airlines. And when I do visit these places, I will endeavour to see and do as much as I can. Doesn't matter if I was a lone traveller or in the company of friends.

I guess now, I have some, if not most of my wants realized. I have a job that allows me to express my fashion sense to a certain limit. I have a partner who understands and cares for me. I have my family and friends as pillar of support.I have financial independence. I can buy all the books that I want.

Some initial wants were either forgotten or altered along the way. Like I wanted to do a stint of studying abroad. But that want has transitioned to working abroad instead. Perhaps a year or two in London. Or Melbourne. I wanted to pursue my MBA. Now, a professional paper seems more of a feasible option plus would fulfill my career needs.

What I need to work on now is my spiritual 'needs'.

Cleanaholic, I am

2009-03-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

Skinny S thinks I'm a freak..a clean freak that is, among others.

No foot prints on a newly-mopped floor, no dust on furniture, no strands of hair on the floor, no mug-stains on coffee/dining table. And everything cannot be removed from their 'usual' spot. Don't ever think of landing on my bed with the sheets pulled tight if you're wearing "dirty clothes" and before washing your feet. And the bedroom slippers I provided is to be worn around the house, not for display purposes.

Kitchen counter and stove must be spotless. Absolutely no half-drank beverage in a glass/mug in the fridge please. And no empty cartons with the contents long gone sitting in the fridge. First step towards recycling is taking them out of the fridge, no? And no footprints on my wet bathroom floor. And honestly, must you leave suds everywhere after you shower?I could trip on those and knock my head against the sink (happens)

I don't think it's being anal, nor am I asking too much. I set high standards and expect those paying a visit to oblige.

Skinny S: I pity your future kids, they would come running to my door begging for me to adopt them so that they can do what kids do - make a mess!
Me: My kids will be house-trained, up to my standards
Skinny S: Yeah yeah let kids be kids woman
Me: They have to start young!!!!If I don't teach them who will?

Am I a (clean) freak?

Why blog?

2009-03-03T16:29:00.000-08:00

me: i started a blog
mr gems : why? what do you write about?
me: stuff, random stuff
mr gems: why? aren't you exposing yourself?
me: i don't have to tell people I blog. no one has to know. i don't have to reveal my identity
mr gems: then why bother blogging?
me: to pen my thoughts. to vent. to nurture creativity.
mr gems: hmmmphhhh

So why am I blogging?
Some thoughts are best left in writing than expressed verbally perhaps?

~ The Road Less Travelled ~

2009-03-02T22:37:00.001-08:00

I'm at a crossroad. Career-wise. Left with very limited choices and tougher when one don't have a creative answer when posed with the question "what do you really want to do?"

I am not sure, to be honest. Baking cupcakes seems like a feasible option. You're your own boss, able to operate from home and "trade" cupcakes online. And if money runs out, eat the leftovers. And grow fat.

My career has somewhat paved its own course. Choices were 'made' for me. I simply obliged, in view of the needs (or wants) for money, nice clothes, a roof over my head and some grub. I wanted to earn and that was the driving factor. It didn't help that mum and dad wanted me 'home". Hop-on-the-first-flight-right-after-my-last-final-paper-exams state of urgency. But I was unrelented.

Being the rebel I was (am still now), I stayed on and jumped head-first into the non-glamorous world of consulting. And stayed on for 2 years until I was ticked off for not delivering. Despite the late nights and juggling between multiple roles. I was the associate cum dispatch girl cum event organizer cum scape goat. And the only 'little"one among 10 big bosses. No kidding, 10. So I quit. But I learnt and moved on. Without a tinge of regret. In fact, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for that short stint in consulting.

But not before I spent 6 months in a bank with nothing much to account for other than the "banker" title. And a un-precendented notch-up in terms of popularity. Bankers equates to loan approver. Only I don't approve loans. I merely issue letters to re-claim loans and sometimes properties. And after 6 months, all I learned was business writing (ah-long) skills and not how to count. Nothing strategic or stimulating. Made worse by the existence of big bosses who will wait by the elevators and observe who leaves at 5.30pm, on the dot. Dude, if you want me to work beyond 5.30pm, then put that in my employment contract. It says working hours - 8.30am to 5.30pm, no?And even if I do stay, I'll be warming my ass, browsing the net and dropping cookie crumbs on the keyboard.

So here I am now and have been for the past 3 years. My 3rd year anniversary is short of three days. And what have I got to show? Both tangible and non-tangible achievements but most importantly, respect and recognition. And moolah to shop, and to satisfy my shoe cravings.

Not-so-lame attempt

2009-03-02T22:24:00.000-08:00

My 3rd attempt since 2003. I am hopeful that this time around, it won't be a lame one. The attempt, I mean. Postings - lame or otherwise is my prerogative, to say the least. Although, admittedly, I'm open to constructive criticism. However, I'm making no promise to change, or make things better, or make it suiting to your liking.

This is how I "talk". So be it.